Poetry Response 4- Beginning Again by Franz Writght

"If I could stop talking, completely
cease for a year,
I might begin to get well," he muttered."
Off alone performing
brain surgery on himself
in a small badly lit
room with no mirror. A room
whose floor ceiling and walls
are all mirrors, what a mess

Above is the only part of the poem I could really understand. Well, I understood the rest but felt like I was missing something. The first stanza just reminded me of summer before this school year began. I started reevaluated everything. Why am I like this? Why do I do this? What can I change to make things better? Thinking about it, a year of silence might do me well. If people stopped talking about themselves for even a day maybe they would realize how much there is to hear. I love the part, "off alone performing brain surgery on himself." I would love to take apart my mind and just tweak it. Maybe I could be more social, smarter, more compassionate; maybe I would know what to say, or how to act; maybe I could stop feeling awkward or get rid of the negativity. Mirrors represent flaws to me. I look in the mirror and see what needs to, or should, change. We can see the physical mirrors everywhere, but the mental mirrors are all delusions. We can never truly change what's already there, as we can with physical features. We can try to improve the traits we hate, but the way we think will never change. I wish I could start again sometimes, make myself different, but it doesn't really work like that.
The form of the poem is interesting. It's actually similar to other poems of this style, but for a different reason. The lines are extremely choppy, the punctuation is there, and yet the lines are not completed by it. I think the process of beginning again is choppy. We try, fail, see no change, try something different, fail, or get worse. It's a confusing process which I think defines the poem through the style.
I wanted to focus on the first stanza, but the second is pretty interesting as well.
And still
it stands,
the question
not how begin
again, but rather

Why?

Maybe I should have been asking myself this all along. When we are sad, lonely, cynical, and just don't fit in, we try to change ourselves, but why? Wouldn't it be a better idea to change our environments rather than conform?