Poetry Response 1

Mr. Fear, by Lawrence Raab.

As I was looking up the poem, "My Fear" I honestly couldn't find a single thing. Then I realized after a half hour of searching the poem is actually titled, "Mr. Fear." It makes so much more sense now! I spent probably 12 minutes wondering why fear was always referred to as an outside source, or 'Mr.' everywhere except the title. Anyway, Mr. Fear was written by Lawrence Raab, who actually died recently just to let you know. At least according to Google. So when I was glancing through the poems, I sped-read this one and got really excited. For some reason I thought it was talking about the Vietnam War. So I was really excited to study a poem about Vietnam and so I read Raab's short biography and was somewhat surprised to learn Raab had never been to war. I searched four more websites then finally decided to actually read the poem. Now I'm basically positive that is was indeed not written about Vietnam, but technically I guess it could apply. We're not going there.
One thing I like about Raab's style: he used small words and phrases to convey a massive concept.
One thing I dislike about Raab's style: it can come off a bit choppy and sometimes unclear. His punctuation actually distracted me as well.
I read several blogs from random people about this poem in other classes most likely similar to ours, and most thought this was about a reoccurring dream, which would make complete sense. After all, it mentions sleep and night. Then I read another blog which got me thinking. So maybe this poem was written about nightmares and was actually meant to be literal... but how much fun would that be?
Sometimes when something truly traumatic happens, we feel like it's a dream. Someone dies who is close to you and you wake up thinking it didn't really happen, they weren't really gone. You just want to wake up and for all the pain to have gone away. Some people even describe traumatic events as though they were watching it, like they weren't even there. I would like to think this poem is about trauma, the point where each day is a reoccurring nightmare. Raab always refers to this poem as Mr., which makes complete sense. When something traumatic happens we always look for someone to blame. Sometimes we blame ourselves, but usually it's the infamous "them."
Why did "they" do that, why did "insertwhateverorwhoeveryouwanthere" let this happen? "Mr. Fear" is this massive, happy-sucking amoeba who has no choice but to exist. I love the lines, "Maybe he smiles when he finds the right one. Maybe he's sorry." Raab refers to fear as an actual being because we can't control others, only ourselves just as we cannot control fear. Fear is something that consumes and destroys us unless we learn to wake up from it all. "Let it fit in my pocket, let it fall through the hole in my pocket." Wouldn't that be nice? To just forget about your fear and while you don't even notice, it's gone forever. To heal or finally cope with reality. I'm not sure how much I really enjoyed this poem, but I do think it's a bit like putty. It's a kind of hard lump, but if you bend and stretch enough it actually becomes something.

The Kite Runner- analysis

The analysis seems very hard for me to do. I feel like every single page of this book could be something significant. Overall the theme is about how one sin can haunt you for an entire life and the journey of atoning for that transgression. The author, Khaled Hosselini was brilliant in the weaved the story to force the audience to feel the emotions. Hassan was compared to the sacrificial lamb, similar to the Bible. He was the perfect, diligent, loyal, firstborn who deserved Amir's love, but was never given it. Amir is an exaggerated version of the average person. He is selfish, very flawed, and desperate to prove himself. He feels above others due to his place in society but still feels insignificant. Amir stood by and watched the most innocent, pure boy be tortured and did nothing. He tried to justify it, but in the end sins of ommission are just as severe as sins of commission. In fact, they may be even worse. Amir could have defended Hassan, just as Hassan had defended him numerous times, but he didn't. Hassan's fate lay in Amir's hands, and Amir turned his eyes. I was so frustrated during this part I just wanted to scream, but then I thought of the times we turn away when kids are being picked on at school. The gossip we overhear, but don't contradict; how everyone laughs at certain kids at school; how we walk away from what we don't want to see. Hossenili was a genius because he knows we've all done it. We have all betrayed a friend. Though Amir's case was much more extreme, we all had no choice but to be drawn in to the story. Amir spent the rest of his life looking into that dark alley. As he states on the very first page, "It's wrong what they say about the past, I've learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out. Looking back now, I realize I have been peeking into that deserted alley for the last twenty-six years." Amir had no choice but to sacrifice everything for Hassan's son because there had to be a way out. There had to be something he could do so that his conscious wouldn't suffocate him. When his body was broken, he finally felt whole. He had suffered, as had Hassan; he had finally made amends. This story just consumed me. I loved how life went on, but he never forgot. Hosselini was just brilliant: how Assef tortured Amir and Sohrab, as he had tortured Hassan; how Hassan turned out to be Amir's half-brother. The words "For you a thousand times over," haunted Amir throughout his life. To be honest, they haunted me as well. Sometimes those who are most willing to sacrifice everything for you are the easiest people to turn from your life. We all have skeletons lurking in our closets, whether it be things we have said or done, or things we DIDN'T say or do, but until we take the atoning journey, we can never find "a way to be good again."
Annotating:
I find I'm pretty bad at following rules. I made my own to way to annotate this book, because the way I did was just so perfect! There were obviously so many significant quotes in this story, but I began to realize most of those quotes were repeated, foreshadowed, or related to another one of those significant quotes. I began writing little side notes linking sections together. For example, on page one, next to the first paragraph, I wrote page 77 because that's what he was referring to when he mentioned the dark alley that haunted him. I ended up with a web of cross notes for the quote, "For you a thousand times over," but I could never stop highlighting it because it just meant so much to the book. There were also quotes that did not relate to anything else that I had no choice but to highlight because the words just haunted me.

The Kite Runner- summary

The Kite Runner takes place in Afghanistan during the late 1970's just before the revolution. The main character, Amir is the son of a wealthy, elite member of the Afghan society named Baba. Working for Baba and Amir are two servants, Ali and Hassan. Hassan and Amir grew up together, like brothers but Amir would never considered Hassan a friend due to his race. Hassan is a loyal servant, often compared to in the book to a sacrificial lamb. Baba admires Hassan as a son, and Amir often feels inadequate and jealous of his father's affections. In Afghanistan, it is a tradition to run kites in the winter. It's a very intricate process, but nonetheless it's a socially significant tradition which means the world to both Amir and Hassan. Amir wants to bring home the winning kite to his father to win his affections. Hassan and Amir fight the other kites, and finally their kite is the winning kite. They cut it loose and Hassan runs to bring Amir back the kite, yelling back to him, "For you a thousand times over." A quote which will haunt Amir the rest of his life. Amir begins to worry that Hassan had failed him since he had not returned to him. Amir begins to search the streets for Hassan only to find the neighborhood bully, Assef, and his gang of mischievous delinquents harassing Hassan. Hassan had caught the kite, and was trying to bring it back to Amir but Assef threaten him saying he would hurt Hassan if he did not hand over the kite. Assef told Hassan that Amir was not his friend, that Hassan meant nothing to him but Hassan was relentless. Amir stood hidden away, caught in fear and the need to react. Assef then beat and raped Hassan. Finally did Amir react, by running away. Hassan brought Amir the kite without a word of complaint. Then Amir began to ignore Hassan. Amir's father finally respected him, but it meant nothing to him. Amir then placed a few of his valuable possessions under Hassan's bed to make it look as though Hassan was a theif. As a final sacrifice, Hassan took the blame but then, to Amir's shock, Baba forgave Hassan. Nevertheless, Ali claimed he and Hassan could no longer stay there. Baba broke down and cried for the first time in Amir's memory and begged them to stay, but they left. Years later, Baba and Amir escaped the Afghan revolution to America where they lived a difficult life. Amir married a woman named Soraya; Baba died of lung cancer; Amir graduated college and became a published author. Baba's old business partner contacted Amir telling him it was crucial he meet with him in Pakistan. Amir met with him and learned that Baba had been the true father of Hassan, therefore Hassan had been Amir's half brother. Hassan and his wife had a child, Sohrab, but Hassan and his wife had been murdered, leaving Sohrab in an orphanage. Seeing as Afghanistan was taken over by the Taliban, Sohrab is in danger. So basically Amir rescues Sohrab from the Taliban, it's extremely dangerous and lots of bad stuff happens, and they make it to Pakistan. Amir cannot figure out the best way to adopt Sohrab, so he says if he can get Sohrab to stay at an orphanage for a year, so he can legally adopt him. Sohrab freaks out and tries to kill himself. Amir saves him and takes him to America and adopts him. Sohrab is basically scarred, but Amir does what he can. Finally, Amir has forgiven himself and feels whole once again.